Missing You
by halbarath
Summary: During Soubi's absence, Ritsuka grew up and became a young man of seventeen. Until they met again. Rated M to be on the safe side...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : This is made from the work of un Kouga and I don't own any thing nor am I making any money out of it.

A/N : This has been written in a one-shot format but as we can't insert double lines (or I don't know how to) I'm cutting it into bite size chapters. I'll update quickly, the whole thing is already written.

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 **Introduction**

It had been all right after all he reflected. After all the times they had played around, unclothed, fondled each other, learned their bodies with their hands and mouths, it was the only logical next step. Having sex. And it did brought some relief and physical well-being. He was a bit sore but nothing that couldn't be disregarded. He ran a hand through his hair to get a feeling of his earless head. It would take some getting used to. He couldn't say his partner had been rougher than usual. Nor had he been gentler or sweeter. He had been perfectly normal. Typical him. He remembered his hands on his skin, the hot tingle of his mouth on him, the delicious shivers of anticipation. And yet. He sat on the edge of the bed, his back to his still sleeping boyfriend and stared unseeingly at his cat ears and tail. A memory flashed bright that he tried his damnest to smother, to tame down, to repress. He didn't want to bring it out in the open, didn't want to contemplate it, didn't want to…

 _I'll take them one day._

Blond locks, periwinkle eyes peering intently at him. He clamped down on them. Too bad he wasn't there. He would not hold his life any more than he already had for someone who wouldn't come back. It had been years and pining after Soubi hadn't made him happier. At least, now, he had someone. If he were ever accused of thinking about Soubi's kisses or imagining his hands on his skin rather than his boyfriend's, then it must have only been a figment of the speaker's imagination. Soubi had left his life for good.

As he stood up from the bed to grab his discarded clothes and got dressed, he spared no glance whatsoever to his boyfriend. They would have sex again, he was sure of it because he could forget the outside world in this bedroom. He could stifle any unwanted feelings and ideas. He didn't pet his lover as he left — there was no need. They would see each other again. In his wake, as the door closed quietly in the middle of the afternoon, the only evidence of his presence were his lost ears and tail.

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A/N : I should update tomorrow. Monday at most. Hope you'll like it.


	2. Kio

Disclaimer : Not mine. It's Yun Kouga's work.

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 **Chapter 2 : Kio**

Kio never said anything when he saw him without his ears but his lips pinched oh-so-slightly and a fleeting frown went over his left eyebrow. Yet he never commented and never asked. He accepted the new situation and kept quiet. But he could feel his eyes on him whenever his boyfriend visited and the weight of his mind as he pondered what he should do. They had no link legally but he was the closest to a father than Ritsuka could ever hope for. Or rather, he was more like a big brother. Since Seimei still held the title and Ritsuka absolutely refused to associate whoever with his psychotic brother, Kio ended up with an undefined but preponderant role in his life. And as such, his opinion mattered. But Kio refrained from voicing it which often left him frustrated. But at least he had someone watching his back.


	3. Abuse

Disclaimer : yun Kouga's work. Not mine. No money made.

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 **Chapter 3 : abuse?**

The first time he came back with a visible injury had Kio sat him down and address him as a near adult. The underlining worry was so cute that he couldn't bear to tell the truth. He had a lot of already made-up excuses for various cuts and scrapes on his body from his time with his mother. Living with Kio was nothing like it obviously and he couldn't use all of them but he was older and had more imagination. It was easy to lie. It only lasted for so long before he was discovered. Then Kio blew a gasket and all Hell broke loose. Kio, the pacifist, the kind heart, the ultimate optimist, the consummate altruist marched to his boyfriend and pummeled him to a bloody pulp, threatening far more if he ever dared approach Ritsuka again. And so ended his first relationship. But something in Kio's protectiveness had triggered an emotion he had thought buried deep and memories of Soubi kept coming at him. He knew part of Kio's attitude stemmed from the Fighter's absence — he had felt like he had failed his best friend even knowing there was nothing he could have done. He had made Ritsuka's acquaintance through Soubi and had taken over his protector duty in his leave. But there was tenderness and love between them — not the one they both harbored for the Fighter but love nonetheless. And Ritsuka could never forget what the artist had done for him, whether he wanted it or not, whether he realized the significance of his actions.

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A/N : So, I posted chapters 2 and 3 simultaneously because they work together. I hope you liked them.


	4. Finding you

Disclaimer : not mine. It belongs to Yun Kouga.

A/N : Dlbn, Promocat and The DarkCat, I thank you for your reviews from the bottom of my heart. I hope you'll enjoy today's update.

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 **Chapter 4 : Finding you**

He went through relationships the same way he looked at his pictures : quickly, repeatedly but always detached and distant. Mostly tall, blond, older guys. Even he could see the pattern and he had caught Kio's knowing smile more than once. Since no Fighter ever came to him, he felt no attachment whatsoever to any of the boys he dated. But when he closed his eyes and abandoned himself to ecstasy, it was always his face that floated up. It was always his hands that he felt on him and it was always his kisses that rendered him speechless. He knew the day he would see Soubi again, he would never let him go again, Seimei be damned. Soubi was irreplaceable.

It took years. More precisely, 5 years, 7 months, 13 weeks and 10 hours. How could he ever forget the day his heart shattered, his innocence was shred to pieces and his life stopped?

5 years, 7 months, 13 weeks and 10 hours and he was still as handsome as he had been then.

5 years, 7 months, 13 weeks and 10 hours before he dragged his head down and kissed him eagerly, satiating the hunger he had for him, reveling in his presence around him , his smell, his arms, his essence… until Seimei intervened rudely and broke them apart.

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A/N : Have you really thought I'd pair them with someone else? Nah, not my style. Sorry if you're disappointed.


	5. Beloved

Disclaimer: Not mine. It belongs to Yun Kouga.

A/N : The DarkCat and Dlbn, thank you for your reviews.

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 **Chapter 5 : Beloved**

It had been pure coincidence that they had met. He was away for a school project in another city, one Seimei was not known for prowling. He had perceived the presence of another Unit, something he had been become very adept at especially since he had no Fighter to defend him. A flash of white and black, the feeling of a familiar presence, both from the Spell world and the civilian one, a word or two caught and the suspicion was there, persistent. He needed to make sure, to ascertain himself that his doubts were unfounded, that he could not in all honestly have got hold of Beloved by accident after years of searching. The sheer irony of it was enough to send him barking mad. He had crawled after them, spying on them, masking his own aura until he had approached them enough. But when he had seen Soubi, he had lost it. He should have turned tail, reported them, done it the rigorous, dutiful way but _there was Soubi_. And there was no way he would turn his back on them and go home empty handed. He would come back with the Fighter he had decided to bind himself to when he had been twelve. Fuck the consequences. He had straightened and marched up to them, unafraid, unconcerned and latched himself onto Soubi, whether he agreed or not. He would kiss this man as he had been fantasizing for years and commit to memory the feel of his mouth and lips and his taste.

"Are you done?" he sneered, his cat ears flat on his head in displeasure.

"Not quite. But you don't seem in the mind to get lost." A twitch under Seimei's left eye betrayed his irritation. Soubi still stood bewildered, his lips swollen and begging to be kissed again. Ritsuka chewed on his lower lip in anticipation.

"What are you doing here? Alone, I might add."

"I want you to surrender Soubi and revoke any ties you have with him. I want you to abandon him as a Fighter and cut your bond to him. Permanently."

"I have no wish to do that. I'll have him die before I'll allow it."

"Then I'll do it for you," he stated calmly, aware of Nisei Akame advancing on him, menacing and dangerous. He didn't care. He had made up his mind and he wouldn't leave without achieving his goal.

"You'll have to harm someone. I suspect you won't purposefully injure _him_ ," he spat and waved a dismissive hand towards Soubi "and you wouldn't hurt your brother, Ritsuka."

"My brother died when I was twelve. I have no qualms as far as you're concerned on the other hand, Beloved." He concentrated and sent the only Spell he could do imbued with all his power, all his desperation and all his rage towards his brother. "Sleep," he commanded and the older Aoyagi unexpectedly dropped down. Ritsuka smiled wryly. "Soubi, take care of the other one for me, would you?" he requested as he heard the lithe Fighter hurl an enraged scream at him. "I have work to do and simply can't be bothered."

He watched his brother sleep. He had always been handsome : an angelic face with long bangs falling messily in his eyes, shining black hair, full cheeks, an athletic built. But it concealed such a dark mind and personality. Such a big ego. He considered his options. There weren't many to destroy the bond between them. The most straightforward and lasting choice was to kill Seimei but Soubi was still under his command and would prevent him from doing so and in all honesty, Seimei would forever be his brother. So despite his anger, some small part of him still harbored love and hope for him. It left him a sole option : he had to work on the Name. All avenues of actions were distasteful to him : cut his finger or damage the Name until unrecognizable. He chose the least damaging to his brother. His window of opportunity was short. In fact, it was almost up. He tasked Soubi to take all of them somewhere secure and abandoned. From all his time with Seimei, surely he had many choices of depressing places where they would be undisturbed. He then tied his brother up and the two fighters in separate rooms. He was not looking forward to the next step but saw no other way to sever the bond between Soubi and Seimei. He used chloroform all of them and burned his brother's finger with acid. He would suffer and scar but hopefully, his Name wouldn't appear again. And if it ever did, he would have found other ways to bind Soubi to him — if he still wished so. The vacant nod he had given earlier when asked whether he was amenable to become Loveless' Fighter indefinitely was barely enough to satisfy him.

He would never be proud of what he did to Seimei. He cleaned his brother's wound after his iniquity and dressed it up. He called in emergency and asked for help in behalf of his wounded kin. He also notified Seven Moons Academy, just in case. Then he left, with Soubi, leaving the Beloved team down and battered but still sleeping. He knew he would have nightmares. And he would deserve them. But he had freed Soubi.

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A/N : I'm not sure Ritsuka would hurt Seimei. Maybe as Loveless he would ? Or to get Soubi back ? Well, it suited my purpose better that way.


	6. Soubi

Disclaimer : Not mine. It belongs to Yun Kouga.

A/N : Thank you, Promocat, the DarkCat and Dlbn for your reviews. I'm away this weekend so I'm posting the last chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it.

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 **Chapter 6 : Soubi**

1 month for him to stop the shudder when he innocently touched him.

1 month for him to stop calling him master. To utter whole sentences rather than monosyllables.

1 month before Soubi willingly spend time with Kio, Zero or his friends and not only suffer through it because it pleased him.

1 month to settle in a new town, to find a place with him and call it home.

2 months watching him idly run his fingers on his throat with a lost look.

2 months to have him smile and joke.

2 months before Soubi stopped apologizing every two sentences.

2 months looking at the top of his bowed head, hair obscuring his eyes.

3 months before he began painting again.

3 months before he could become some shadow of his former self.

3 months of strained silences and abject guilt.

3 months before he managed to crack this hardened outer shell and coax him out.

4 months of self-recrimination and silent suffering.

4 months of bewilderment that he wanted them bonded as a Unit.

4 months before he trusted him.

4 months of constant disbelief that he was willingly having him in his life as an equal.

5 months sleeping separately.

5 months of flinching if he tried to kiss him.

5 months of agonizing tiptoeing.

5 months before Soubi accepted he had kept on loving him during his absence.

6 months.

In all and everything, it took 6 months before he could kiss him and not feel like he was forcing himself on the Fighter.

For then on, it went fairly smoothly. Their beginning had been rough but he had no doubt they would overcome anything from then on.

It was during the seventh month together that Ritsuka calmly declared as Soubi looked unseeingly at his head that he wished it had been him. And the look of regret and sadness washing over the Fighter was well worth the slight discomfort. _Me too_ , he had whispered simply, almost too low to be heard.

9 months.

He had to admit. He was afraid. He had been afraid many times — especially as a child, but had quickly learned how to control the feeling. His face would remain impassive while he would slowly die inside. But today, he was truly terrified of doing wrong. All he had ever desired was at the tip of his fingers if only he extended his hand, quite literally in fact. And he dithered because he was afraid. It was pathetic really. No, he wasn't ready yet to risk losing Soubi again, to endanger the still fragile trust the man had for him. He would clamp down on his desire and wait. It had been six years, surely he could survive another delay. He cuddled next to the blond man, willing his body to obey him and thought about frigid December nights.

1 year.

Soubi may not have taken his ears but it wasn't his biggest concern as of now. As their flesh connected at last, as the last shreds of clothing fell on the ground, discarded, as every negative feeling —whether hurt, disbelief, anger, guilt or unworthiness — disappeared in the heat of their bedroom, he fleetingly contemplated whatever physical experiences he had had until now. And none compared to this. His body might have the same reaction but the intensity and the feelings were unrivaled. He had fantasized about Soubi for years on end, whatever the partner he may have shared the bed with. But his dreams were nothing compared to the sensation of his real hands on him. Nothing to his swollen lips kissing him, nibbling him, caressing him, driving him crazy with want and giddiness. His skin had a sweetness that he could never have imagined. It was soft and supple as he nuzzled his neck, his own mouth leaving a moist trail of love bites. He had been aware none ever held a candle to Soubi but not to what extent. And he was slowly beginning to understand it as they slowly discovered each other, as they unveiled the bottomless well of love and tenderness they had always fostered deep in their hearts.

Soubi may not have taken his ears.

He may not have been Soubi's first partner either.

But for both, it was the first time they had ever made love.

And it was perfect.

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A/N: Yes, I know, I can't help writing happy endings. I just don't have it in me to write angst and drama. Hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing.

Thanks for your time, your views and your reviews.


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